Another caveat to this matter of truth and memoir:  All the secrets and the necessary face-keeping of my family (the requirement to protect and to hide), all this murk in which I lived as a CIA kid, no doubt, doubly predisposed me to a quest for truth.  You can only live with secrets and disguises for so long.  The truth will out.  “Out damned spot,” Lady Macbeth said, to no avail.  And as her creator directed, the true duty of poets “is to speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.”  “Writing is an act of transgression,” writer Jamaica Kinkaid has noted.  This memoir I wrote was my stab at truth.  It was like stabbing for a body hidden behind a curtain.